Category: thoughts


Lot of good homoerotic content in The Good The Bad and The Ugly, including:

  • Shooting thick ropes for your bros
  • Letting the homies have a taste of you on your cigar
  • Rubbing a bedpost while talking to your bro, who has just emerged naked from the bath

Also, I was watching this with a friend last night, and she was like “I love how you’re queering this manly western :)” And I was like thanks, it’s because I am very extremely horny for clint eastwood


Sergio Leone gay round up

Much has been said on the gayness of Sergio Leone films and the western genre in general, but I thought an actual round up would be useful:

Blondie/TMWNN – has never heard of a woman in his life. Has a new boyfriend every month

Tuco – I’ll give his spiel about having “lots of women” the benefit of the doubt and say that this man does like girls, but his only true love is Clint Eastwood

Angeleyes – more interested in money than either gender, but again he makes an exception for a certain blonde haired guardian angel

Harmonica: this man has also never heard of a woman in his life. He spends the whole film very confused about how to act around claudia and plays his harmonica instead of communicating. doesn’t have a boyfriend yet 🙁

Col. Mortimer: one of Clint Eastwood’s boyfriends again. You think he’s going to have a tragic straight backstory but nope, turns out that girl is his sister

Max: pretty ironic that the gayest leone character is the only one to have an actual relationship with a girl – twice, no less. But make no mistake, this man is in love with his best friend Noodles, although he has to show it by ruining his life and stealing the girl of his dreams. It’s the price he pays for not being a cowboy and being able to let his gay thoughts run free in the wild west

Even the straight Leone characters – Cheyenne and Noodles – have more chemistry with their male companions than the (grossly sexist depictions of) women they actually pursue. And though sex itself is basically never mentioned except with references to sex workers, the physicality of the characters is laden with sensual energy in some places and outright sexual coding in others. thank you for coming to my ted talk that’s all for now





me: could you pass the salt please?

my angel gf: sure *smites the couple sitting next to us in the restaurant and breaks a chunk off one of the pillars of salt left in their place before handing it to me*

me: baby we talked about this

#au where angel eyes is That kind of angel–unknowable eldritch horror with a thousand eyes and they all somehow look irritated

@dead-constelllations aka the AU that he imagines himself as constantly

Good omens au with Blondie as the black winged angel of evil, his object d’lust cherubim of a thousand eyes, and Tuco as the chubby lackadaisical angel of good who likes crepes overly much.

….excessively good post

003, Blondie?


How I feel about this character: L O V E. i love him. not as much as i love Joe (from fistful) or Silence, but a lot. protec.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: ggod uhhh. tuco and angel eyes, almost entirely thanks to stephantom and sybilius at the start, and now thanks to a lot of people ahahaha

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: well, it’s a one-way thing since pablo probably barely even knows blondie exists beyond “that pretty yet sun-baked dude who’s dumb enough to be traveling with my brother”, but the effect that pablo has on blondie is really deep??

i don’t know, there are a pretty limited number of people that blondie talks to outside of tuco and angel eyes but. he doesn’t seem to give a shit about empathizing with tuco until he sees that tuco has some backstory. 

i think it’s terrifyingly easy for blondie to justify all of his really brutal behavior toward tuco because all he knows of tuco up to this point is like…tuco’s own selfish brutality toward him. blondie has never HAD to consider what made tuco like this. 

and i do wonder how much of his decision to leave tuco alive at the end was a result of this one humanizing interaction with pablo. so to me, that’s a really powerful implication of how blondie was changed by pablo.

My unpopular opinion about this character: HAHA, this IS surprisingly unpopular in this fandom–i do actually think he’s a good person. 

no, the kitten does not count. (who doesn’t like cats, right??) but there’s also him being outright nice to tuco when he easily could have emotionally devastated the man after they leave pablo, comforted the dying soldier, and (maybe this is a morally grey opinion, but…) i think all the people he kills have been pretty thoroughly established as being some really evil people who knew what they were getting into.

i tend to think that he used to be good-er..? he comes off as really horribly jaded and burnt out. he’s like. if a millenial were in a western haha

his characterization feels (to me anyway) like he wishes he could believe that there is some kind of overall meaning to morality and Do-Gooding but something made him able to care less and made things feel bleak beyond repair. 

something sharply limited his assessment of the scale in which things CAN matter, and also serves as proof to him the relative unimportance of any violent acts he commits.

to me, blondie reads like someone performing palliative acts of small comforts in a “universe is flatly indifferent” kind of world.

so now he engages in small occasional kindnesses and does what he needs to in order to survive, and accepts his own immorality as justified in an unjust world.
or possibly i’m just projecting because i like the character ahahahaha

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i wish someone had hugged that poor bastard and like…made him a sandwich or something. gave him some ice cream and told him to play nice.

Favorite friendship for this character: HAHAAAA probably tuco even though it’s an incredibly unhealthy ““friend””ship (are they……even really friends though) because they’re just so fun to watch

My crossover ship: i don’t have one, i guess, but i would  L O V E  for blondie and roland (from the dark tower books) to meet, especially if the other main characters met too

i would absolutely go for some crappy dark tower/gbu pwp, especially if it was incredibly aware of all the meta shit going on in a tongue-in-cheek way ahahahaha

🏟️, ⭐, 📈 (Tuco) for Bleeding Across State Lines!

Intended audience– ah ha. Me. It was me. 

I mean, coming off Nobody Ever Comments MacGyver fandom into another even smaller fandom, I had next to no expectations- Animal Magnetism had a nice reception, but people will pop out of the woodwork for Yuletide and then vanish never to be seen again. So I was writing for myself pretty much, as I usually do. 

That changed almost immediately, mind, once I discovered I had Actual Readers, but aside from Syb (who as series co-author is kinda a special case) I still write pretty much just with me in mind. Albeit, I’ve leaned into the oranges thing more than I expected to, heh 🙂

Was there a clear character arc you wanted Tuco to go on – oh, sure! From about scene two it was “fall in love with Angel, in a fashion that preserves everyone’s natural dignity”. 

(I have no idea how anyone writes characters without an understanding of their natural dignity, but then I’d be hard put to explaining just what I actually mean by that- the point is I knew it was doable, but it’d have to be coached carefully. Angel was not going to fall head over heels in a night. Tuco was not gonna jump feet-first into a racket where he’d have to be Cautious and Listen To Authority.)

Blondie’s reactions to all this were, frankly, reactions. 

What’s a scene/paragraph you’re proud of? – 

As I recall, I wrote the second-person Angel gatehouse scene in a fit of pique. 

Judging by results, I oughta have more fits of pique!



Hey, I’m Tulip. Every once in a while, when I can get rid of Jesse and Cassidy and just fucking stop thinking about this messed up world, I like to grab a beer, settle down and watch a movie. An old one, you know. The kind that reminds me of movie nights with Jesse when we were kids, running around in our pajamas, pretending to be lawful cowboys. Huh. Things change, shit happens. It still warms my heart, though.

One of my favorite movies is The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. I remember Jesse saying Blondie’s lines while we were watching it. Now we’re driving around, looking for God. I’d rather be chasing a bag of money. I feel like this movie ended up being a little to close to my reality. Hell, now that Cassidy has joined us, we even became the Unholy Trinity. I wonder who’s who.


What I like about this movie is the lonely spirit of the characters, teaming up only because of a common goal, but perfectly understanding each other’s personality. That’s what makes the best teammates, in my opinion. I think the message of the story is “never fucking trust anybody” and “keep your damn mouth shut”. Of course, you also can’t help but enjoy the dirt of the desert sand, the burning sun, the gleam of the guns, the cliché outfits, and those awesome lines. “You see, in this world, there is two kinds of people, my friend: those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.” Always be the one with the loaded gun, that’s my rule.

Also, young Clint Eastwood is hot.


Keep your mouth shut and kick ass.


The Good, the Bad and the Ugly is a 1966 feature film by Sergio Leone.
Tulip O’Hare is a character from the TV show Preacher, based on the comic book series of the same name.

also. Angel Eyes 🙂 🙂 🙂

First impressions: …aw what a nice dude eating the soup. (I knew there was a Bad! I didn’t know it was him!)

Impressions now: Lee Van Cleef is way cool y’all.

Favourite moment: the whole “a golden haired angel” bit, both cos of what it says about his prior partnership and the one he’ll have…

Idea for a story: I suppose I Could tell a story about how he learned weird blood magic for Animal Magnetism.

Unpopular Opinion: …do I have any? Hmm. I do figure he’s lying through his teeth about believing Blondie wouldn’t talk under pressure, but attracting flies works better with honey.

Favourite relationship: …no wait THIS is the unpopular opinion, which is to say if he’s shagging anybody I figure it’s Wallace. Er. See, this is why I figure fic and canon should be gently detached, cos my strict movie read and what I’m willing to write are so different here!

Anyway in fic it’s the Trio. Bless.

Favourite headcanon: …soup. 

Ooh Tuco.

First impression

He’s cute and has his funny moments but I’m also tired of westerns portraying poc in particular as comic relief/sidekicks

Impression now

Once again, thank god for this fandom and their storytelling skills

Favorite moment

I like how open and real and truthful he got in that whole scene with his brother. I think in the whole movie, aside from him running around the cemetery, that was my favorite part

Idea for a story

I think I would like to see someones take on his backstory

Unpopular opinion

I??? Don’t think I have one??

Favorite relationship

This is gonna sound super corny but I like his relationship with himself if that makes any sense. With Blondie it’s like a love-hate (I’m referring to canon here) and with Angel he doesn’t really have one? But with himself he’s so comfortable in who he is and how he carries himself it’s really….I can stan

Favorite headcanon

I saw a comic (it’s was also 70s au) someone drew of him in a v colorful shirt and I can stand behind this


First impression

He seems kind of quiet and in his own world, I can appreciate that. I think I like him.

Impression now

Hello 70s au, character headcanons, fics, in depth analyses, and backstories 💕💕💕

Favorite moment

It’s two moments that….okay three moments. The one where he’s leaning through that (ladder?) thing, nodding in encouragement at Tuco to assure him he has his back when they’re in that abandoned town place. The second is when he gives that soldier his cigar. The third is the scene where he lights the canon. I lied, there’s a fourth. Sharing his cigar with Tuco after the latter’s fall out with his brother.

Idea for a story

I think @bleak-nomads had a photoset/moodboard I absolutely fell in love with that was hinting at a vampire au and I secretly wanted to write that

Unpopular opinion

He’s not all that good! The kitten scene doesn’t count! Kittens bring out the best in people no matter what!! If I handed you a kitten in a cowboy hat you will coo over it and pet its lil head too! I demand the irb committee to review this study and i propose a new one without baby animals bc that’s basically cheating

Favorite relationship

I find his relationship with angel eyes very……interesting. I could probably write an entire dissertation on it but I will refrain

Favorite headcanon

Someone said his name was Daniel and I basically ran with it

Angel Eyes!

And I will tell you my:

  • First impression

….this man is hot

  • Impression now

Some combination of (for canon/Tweechik angel):

  1. hnngh ugh Angel Eyes hot
  2. “you moron, you fucking narcissistic idiot, I should throw you off a cliff”
  3. this is my comfort trash can character and I will protect his horrible ass at all costs

For 70s Angel “this is sweet murderous sweaterboy, I want to hug him at all times”

  • Favorite moment

Hmm, when he strong-arms Blondie into partnership with him. What a powerbottom bastard move. I love him!

  • Idea for a story

OH BUDDY OH BOY smdh I should not be allowed to answer this quesiton. I’ve answered it already so many times and I’m still uh. answering it.

Fic to come?

  • Unpopular opinion

I don’t think this is an unpopular opinion at all, but bastard got what was coming to him in the finale. V. satisfying death. 

  • Favorite relationship

Oh god. Again, contractually obliged to answer Blondeyes, but Tucoeyes gives me so many feelings. Also the trio? 

I think I just like ships if Angel is involved, tbqh. 

  • Favorite headcanon

Latin bullshit 🙂 I’m. so damn proud.