Category: thoughts

Western Wanderer Ship Meme (Ryan/ Bill from De…


I will SO be late for brunch, but how can I miss a chance to waffle on about my latest passionate obsession????

What do they do for work? In canon, nothing, because they are seeking revenge from the same four people. In my wip, they get jobs with a small stagecoach company in New Mexico.

Who is better at navigating? Ryan, although Bill is not too bad.

Who is better at charming the townspeople? Neither, really. At a pinch, Ryan is marginally less hopeless.

Who gets them run out of town? Both, because they both have a tendency to shoot villains dead.

Who makes coffee? In canon, almost certainly Ryan. In my wip, Bill, because he finds Ryan’s coffee too weak.

Who chops wood? They take turns. Both sort of believe in fairness.

Who is better at cooking? Ryan, both in canon and in my wip.

Do they smoke? Ryan does (a pipe). Bill doesn’t, but doesn’t object to the pipe.

Who is better at taking care of injuries? Ryan (he’s more experienced). Re. Bill, no spoilers for my wip.

How do they deal with being sick? Both are typical Stoic Western Heroes (the “ain’t nothin wrong with me” school)

Who wants to go swimming when they come across a stream? Bill might be tempted, if Ryan manages to get him to admit it. And he would be a strong swimmer.

Who is better with horses? Do the horses have names? Bill is marginally better. His horse probably has a name, but I haven’t thought about it yet.

What changes when they realize they have feelings for each other? In canon, nothing (deep tearful sigh). In my stories, Bill rides back to El Viento. They are Stoic Western Men and therefore say very little, it’s all in the looks and touches.

Are they open about their relationship? Neither says one word about it, but they ride together, take jobs together and live together in a shack with one room and one bed. I believe that each thinks of the other first and foremost as a friend.

Big spoon/ little spoon? Ryan is the big spoon, although he is slightly shorter than Bill.

How do they deal with being apart? Easily, both in canon and in my stories, because each has been a total loner until they met. When apart, they do what they have to do quickly and competently, and think of the other while they are having breaks.

Settling down? In canon, each of them probably wanders alone until the end of his days (deep sigh). In my stories, they do, but they probably would not call it “settling down”. They’d call it something like “gettin an honest job”.

Tagging: nobody, because all the significant people have already been tagged by @bleak-nomads (who has all my gratitude for giving me this chance).

Western Wanderer Ship meme (Blondeyes)


So I saw a ship meme circulating around the pasta fandom a while back and I thought “Hey I should do this for my ship!” and then a lot of the questions were far too modern sensibilities and didn’t even remotely apply to the ship I wanted to write it for. 

So here’s a ship meme specifically for cowboy couples who wander the desert and the plains 😀 Hope you all have as much fun filling it out/tagging as I did coming up with it

1. What do they do for work? (this can be canon, it’s just an interesting question 🙂 ).

Angel is a for-hire killer and Blondie is a bounty hunter/scammer.

2. Who is better at navigating?

Blondie, I think, but it’s relatively even.

3. Who is better at charming the townspeople?

Angel Eyes, when he wants to. This is mostly headcanon from the fact that he seemed to be able to become a civil war captain just….for fun (and for the gold). I think he’s great at intimidation but can also be very manipulative in an almost charming way. Blondie is just quiet. This often gets him respect but a lot of people also find it unsettling

4. Who gets them run out of town more often? (This can… absolutely be the same person, hah)

Evensies. On the rare occasion that Angel Eyes or Blondie is recognized and called out on it they might have to shoot out, which they are lethal together and almost invariably ends with the town standing down. Angel has more notoriety but more people know what Blondie looks like. Angel is a bit of a….whisper and a rumor in some places, so to speak.

5. Who makes the coffee over the fire in the morning?

They both sort of do– Angel gets up earlier so he sometimes makes it for Blondie. But he’s sort of rubbish at it, because he doesn’t drink it often. So the making is about even.

6. Who is better at starting fires? Who is better at chopping wood?

Equally good at starting fires though Angel tends to do it because Blondie is better at chopping wood. Angel is better at foraging wood, though.

7. Who is better at cooking over open fire? Any favourite camp food meals?

Probably Angel, who can make a decent soup they both like.

8. Can they both read? How does this come up in their relationship (ie. Reading together, teaching the other to read)

Blondie and Angel can both read, though Blondie finds anything more than a newspaper or a wanted poster rather difficult. This doesn’t really come up for a while but eventually when they settle down up north they get to reading together.

9. Do either smoke? How do they get when they can’t get a smoke? 😉

Yeah, they both do. And i think they both get pretty tense. Blondie gets very forlorn and Angel gets sort of grumpy.

10. Who is better at taking care of injuries?

Hmmm tough call but I think Angel. He’s at the very least quite adept at dealing with his own injuries, I think he can even do an uneventful stitch if he has the equipment. I think he’d 100% get weird if Blondie was injured, probably try to get him to stay in an inn in town and recover but also take off and not stick around because wHaT aRE feELIngs

11. How do they deal with being sick?

I think stay out of town, bundle up in the desert with a good tent. Staying in town runs the risk of someone getting the jump on them while they’re stuck. Though if they need a doctor, sometimes there isn’t much of a choice.

12. Who always wants to go swimming when they come across a stream?

I think Blondie surprisingly but he’s not like, aggressively enthusiastic. They are both alright with it and low-key enjoy it.

13. Who is better with the horses? Do their horses have names?

Mm Blondie. I don’t think either of them name their horses.

14. What changes when they realize they have feelings for each other? How does that hash out?

Lmao, judging by my fic, run from feelings, beat each other up in a cave, decide to run away up north together and not talk about why.

15. Are they open about their relationship in company, coy, or completely secretive?

Pretty secretive. Contrary to how easily Sue reads them in the northfic, i think they’re hard to figure out (she really just reads them as similar to her– also you don’t go for this long a journey without having something  with the person you’re with). Most people think they’re rivals until they leave or get a room together. Then they just sort of don’t know what to think. They’re not remotely affectionate, even in private really.

16. Do they prefer sex on the open road or sex in a nice inn room?

I think both for different reasons? They just….they like having sex, idk that they’re super picky.

17. What’s the weirdest place they’ve had sex?

They’ve definitely done it in a church, broken in at night or something. They’ve probably done weirder but that’s what’s coming to mind.

18. Who cuddles when it gets cold at night? Big spoon/Little spoon headcanon?

Blondie, and he’s the big spoon. Angel pretends to mind but he really doesn’t (and he sort of hates that).

19. What piece of clothing are they always stealing from the other?

They’re not that kind of couple really. Angel might get curious about Blondie’s poncho but I don’t think he has any desire to wear it.

20. Do they ever go it alone? Why? How do they deal with being apart?

They sort of function apart from each other for a while and just stay in each other’s orbit for a while before deciding to stick around. I think Angel doesn’t spend a lot of time thinking about it, but Blondie probably goes on self-torture loops of “why the fuck do I do this with him” and numb not thinking about it at all. But that’s his attitude towards his job and most of his life decisions tbh.

21. Did they ever think about settling down? Where?

🙂 They do and I wrote a fic about it!

Tagging: @chunchomunos, @bloncos, @geekboots, @tintenfischie, @elfbert, @anintelligentoctopus, @withaviewlikethis, @mcicioni-blog if you want to go for it!

“I would have liked to have had a son like you”


So this is canon. In Italian and English. As is the final line, “Good luck, son.” In Italian, Ryan addresses Bill as “bambino”, small boy, and in German it’s roughly the same (Kleiner): slightly less “preferred reading”, and it makes sense in the context of the film, since Ryan looks at Bill and sees the small boy he rescued.
Now, is there ANY room for a queer reading here? I’m going to give it a shot, although what I know about queer readings could fit on twoA-4 size pages.
Comments and objections most welcome.
How reliable is Ryan? “I would have liked to have had a son like you, so that I could have had someone to avenge my death?” Is that the ONLY reason he would have liked a son? If it is, then Ryan is deranged and belongs in an institution. If it isn’t, could he be disguising some other feelings not connected with revenge?
He never mentions any women, wives, female partners, sweethearts with whom he could have had a family (not just a son). Also, he has just spent 15 years in a violent all-male environment. And there are no women in the film, except for Bill’s mother and sister (who die in the first 10 minutes without uttering one word) and a Mexican girl who sort of looks at Bill, but he does not seem interested.
So what is Ryan doing? Could we read the scene as Ryan attempting to define the relationship in the only acceptable terms he can think of?
Not sure if any if this makes any sense.

bleak-nomads: @mcicioni-blog replied to your post: for a moment, before he turns around, he looks…


@mcicioni-blog replied to your post:

for a moment, before he turns around, he looks unguarded

I know, it’s very interesting! Thematically I decided that it didn’t fit with the other gifs, but he actually looks strangely peaceful in this. I think it speaks to his confidence in dealing with Blondie that he doesn’t think Blondie is the type to shoot first– or is confident enough that Blondie’s desire for the gold will prevent him from doing anything untoward. He has, of course, got that group of men coming so that’s probably part of it. In any case, I like the contrast between them in this scene.

And for what it’s worth, when I wrote Devil’s Pupil I rather pictured it happening the night before this scene 😛

bleak-nomads: uncontroversial opinion: Mantimer is a great ship.


uncontroversial opinion: Mantimer is a great ship.

sewerfight:Tuco: blondie??? nah what a jerk what a— [trips] [hundreds of thousands of photos of The…


Tuco: blondie??? nah what a jerk what a— [trips] [hundreds of thousands of photos of The Man With No Name spill out of jacket] w-what a fucking asshole i these arent mine im just [gathering them up frantically sweating] listen i just listen fuck [thousands of pictures of Blondie scatter across the floor] im holding them for a friend just LISTEN

bleak-nomads: So in a Mexican standoff you’re supposed to shoot second, of course. Well…in a…


So in a Mexican standoff you’re supposed to shoot second, of course.

Well…in a threesome setting with the GBU trio…that would also be true.

since the person who comes first gets made fun of for being the first…..

…..but the person who comes last gets no help making that happen XD

rachaeltad-writes: As obsessed as I am with Western AUs I don’t think I could write one. As in…


As obsessed as I am with Western AUs I don’t think I could write one. As in literally write it to be read.

Westerns for me are so special because of the aesthetic and tone those films give off. That sense of space and desitution and lawlessness, from the ochre colours to the wide vitas, squinty protagonists and wistful looking villagers that all suddenly comes crashing down in an ASSAULT of gunfire and horses hooves and twangy guitar.

Maybe other writers can capture that spirit but for me Westerns belong so firmly in film that I don’t think I could do them justice.

shamrockcelebrations: Clint Eastwood stars in: The chaotic good, the neutral evil, and the honestly…


Clint Eastwood stars in:

The chaotic good, the neutral evil, and the honestly not that bad looking.

Well I just started following you (I didn’t know anybody else enjoyed GBU or even made headcanons) so for the character thing why not Blondie (he was my favorite)

Oh wonderful, good pick!

Blondie– Keep in mind if you’re familiar with Dollars trilogy I tend to think of TMWNN as three different characters, which I’ll continue to do so here.  

  • What I like about them

The weird dubious morality of him. I think there’s a lot you can work with headcanon wise as a character.

  • What I dislike about them

Lol the film takes him….so seriously *broods into middle distance* Like I think based on his actions he’s very flawed and his motivations are ambiguous at best. I also am less fond of his designation as ‘the good’ since I like him as a more greymoral/evil character and I think his actions in canon reflect that more strongly. 

  • Favourite moment

Honestly, the part where he squints with utter loathing at Angel Eyes during the Mexican standoff is so good. 

A close second is ‘God hates idiots’, HAH. 

  • Least favourite moment

Hard to pick a specific moment? The moment where he ditches Tuco in the desert is something else because it seems like…such a dumb thing to do, you know, like if you’re going to screw him over like that why not kill him so he doesn’t come after you later? But it’s that kind of self-destructive and selfish stupidity that leads to some of my favourite headcanons for him, so I can’t say I’d want it taken out of the film. 

  • A situation with this character that I want to see explored more

I mean, selfishly, any situation where he and Angel Eyes interact more. Shipping aside, I’d like to see them have conversations or maybe see them as more sustained rivals in a different context. GBU focuses a lot on the Tuco and Blondie interactions and I’m just…not as interested in those, heh. 

  • An interesting AU for this character

Oh god I have SO many Blondeyes AUs but one of my favourites is mine and @cudvac‘s medieval AU where Blondie is a disgraced knight, Tuco is a minor lord of sorts greedy for more land, and Angel is an assassin for hire. It ends up being surprisingly emotional for both of them.

Another good one is the modern Talahasee AU (named for The Mountain Goats album) which is Blondie/Tuco/Angel Eyes modern au. Blondie and Angel Eyes are shady lawyers, Tuco is a criminal with a history with Angel Eyes. It’s horribly self destructive and has a terrible end but it’s a great story. 

In terms of non-sad AUs, well I guess the northfic that I’m working on right now qualifies as canon-divergence. 

  • A crossover

I cross him over constantly with other dollars trilogy folks, does that count? I think @cudvac and mine’s Dollars trilogy/polycest au is probably the most well developed of those, which is mostly cute and sweet fluff with a good lead up story. There’s a lot to explain about this au so I’ll just leave it at that.

  • OTP (or OT3+ etc…. just… favourite ship)

Blondeyes 🙂 it’s my favourite spaghetti Western ship anywho. God knows why, I just think they’re interesting. 

  • Other ships?

I’ll read Blonco and I’ve liked some of it. Oh also Captain Clinton/Blondie was something @cudvac and I discussed as sad and good. Oh and in polycest au, Manco/Blondie is a great ship. Manco is so good for everyone. 


This is selfish but my OC Sue from the northfic is probably my favourite friend for him. 

(I just realized the delicious irony of naming an OC Sue….HAH). 

  • NOTP

Eh, not really with anyone? I’m not a huge fan of sweet/fluffy Blonco, it has to be shitty people being shitty to each other for it to appeal to me. 

  • An assortment of headcanons!

Did work as a bounty hunter before Tuco, he and Tuco have definitely been sexually involved but it didn’t really mean anything to them, has no hobbies except riding around aimlessly, wishes constantly he was a better person, very passive, cats love him but he doesn’t really know why. Bad with children. Good with injuries and staying calm under pressure. 

Thanks for the ask, anon! And if you want to know more about the spaghetti western fandom on tumblr, send me a PM or something 😀